Trusting in God Whilst in pain

Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing. James 1:2-4 NLT

I find myself enveloped in deep sorrow and contemplation because my lifelong dream, the vision I have held close to my heart for as long as I can remember, seems to be placed on the back burner by God. This dream is not just a fleeting desire; it is a profound yearning for a healthy, nurturing love that mirrors the ideal I have cherished since childhood. As a child, I was utterly captivated by the enchanting world of Disney princesses. Their stories filled my imagination, and I envisioned myself as one of them—a Disney princess destined to experience a beautiful love story, culminating in a healthy marriage and a joyful family of my own. As the years have gone by, I find myself still waiting for this healthy love to manifest in my life. Yet, during this waiting period, the Father continues to gently remind me to exercise patience. Although the waiting often brings with it a sense of pain and longing, I have come to understand, albeit with a heavy heart, the reasons behind His call for patience. He desires for me to learn the invaluable lesson of waiting—not just for the fulfillment of my dreams, but to cultivate a deeper relationship with Him and, importantly, with myself. Patience has always been a struggle for me, particularly when it comes to my own expectations and timelines. I find it much easier to be patient with others, offering them grace and understanding, while I often fall short in extending that same kindness to myself. However, since I began actively seeking a relationship with God, I have noticed a gradual but significant transformation in my ability to be patient with both myself and Him. If I cannot find patience within myself, how can I expect to embody the patience of God that resides within me? At this pivotal moment in my life, I have resolved to continue waiting, recognizing that this is not merely a period of stagnation but rather an essential journey of growth and development. In this journey, I have come to realize that the waiting itself is far more important than the destination I yearn for. My faith is being tested in this area, allowing me to develop perseverance akin to that of the Father. I believe that through this perseverance, I will eventually reach a state of wholeness through Jesus Christ. He is my everything, the center of my existence, and I find that I do not want, need, or desire anything more than Him. While I wait for the love I have dreamed of, I am committed to recognizing and seizing all the opportunities that present themselves along the way. Every obstacle I encounter is, in fact, an array of opportunities waiting to be explored! It is crucial that we approach each challenge with joy and gratitude, for this entire life is a precious gift brimming with potential. Father, I humbly ask for your strength during this time of waiting. Help us to remember that when we find ourselves in a season of waiting, we are in good company! This waiting signifies that you are actively involved in our lives, guiding us and nurturing our relationship with you. We are grateful for this connection, Lord. May we continue to grow closer to you with each passing day. May we strive to embody your qualities and reflect your love in our lives. Let us seek your heart earnestly and ensure that our desires align with yours. May your will be our guiding light, and let your divine will be done in our lives. In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.